Its 16th january 2007 =) heres wishing Mr Yuan You Wei and Miss Lai Jia Fei a very happy birthday!!!! haha 2 rather important ppl in my life so far.... causing a huge impact in my life haha With out Mr Yuan, there wouldnt b M&Y... this will directly impact all you low life peasants.... for without M&Y all you filthy lil peasants will not have any future ahead... all of you will extinct!!!! *load of crap*


writers block cant think of any more to write -_-" kk good nite XD

Well..... the only thing i can do now is to finish my work up and THEN help you with yours.... i noe ur sch work have been bugging u for a long time now...... if theres anyth i can do to help i wud =) and i can start by doing MY OWN work first haha but then again i noe ur worries and the stuff u think about never ends.....but it sure is better to maintain the flow rather than congest and accumulate... i noe it doesnt help when i tell u not to think so much... but i HAVE to say it haha... after ur sch work are done and handed in, its time for exams... another torturous period for you( everyone).... but fear not for it shall be a breeze and YOU will be able to do it =)

*seriously no point in saying all these since you don come here*

(moving on to other matters)

im having trouble deciding whether to got overseas for attachment or not... theres WAY TOO MANY things to take into consideration..... theres YOU, driving, YOU, family,YOU, finance,YOU, friends, YOU, computer, YOU, many many many other things and YOU!! But i have to coem to a decision.... when i ask you... u just giv me a very neutral reply "slowly decide" any slower and i wudnt need to make a decision... then again you're alrdy so jammed with ur own stuff i shudnt be adding on to it.... and you're probably afraid that by givng me a definite answer i might think too much and think tt you're dissing me or that ur givng me hopes.... understandable...

on a lighter note... i just spent the entire day reading up on world of warcraft... it all started with a click to a link abt WOW on yahoo... and then slowly i got immersed into it... nt tt ive nv been interested in it.... but each time i read it i start to imagien myself playin and hw fun it wud be.... ive even thought abt what characters to play... but then later id stopped myself from thinking abt playing WOW.... but then may b Ben is right... i need an outlet to release my frustrations and forget abt shit... but then i cannot... firstly i refuse to allow u to think tt im a gamer becos im not.... i game leisurely theres nth more impt than you... and secondly if i get addicted to WOW i might not bother to spend time with u ( perhaps nt that it matters to u).... i can alrdy imagine Ben persuading me to play WOW lol but hes probably alrdy sick of trying to pull me deep into the depths of WOW.... haha oh well.. we'll see about it... =) but damn its fcking tempting alrdy haaha

"You shouldnt be worrying, if the thing you are worried about can be solved. However if the thing cannot be solved, why bother worrying about it?" Words of Wisdom quoted from granmas fridge magnet.....*not the exact phrase... cant rememebr exactly* So... chill =) ill always be behind you...just turn around....

I feel as if im slowly being ousted, bit by bit, out of your life...... Or may be im too sensiive.... but im no longer the guy you hang out more often with.....im not the guy whom you approach when you have a problem.... That guy..... the one who sits beside you..... is no longer me.....

I feel speechless right now even though in the day it felt as if i had a lot to say....

I should get a little shut eye now... you're most probably aslp alrdy which you shud be.....u were so tired -_-" told u to slp early rite..... =) good nite......

Today, I entered a room, its not just a room with chairs and tables. Its a room which flushed me with memories the moment i stepped into it. Memories of us, the things we did, the things that happened....

It all started as just a normal lesson that i attended with you. You and i, being us last time, went and sat down together at one side of the room. As the lesson went on, somehow, i dont know why or how come it happened but some how we had our legs entangled together. Its like those footie play you watch on shows where a playful couple would tease each other with their feet and legs under the table stroking and caressing each others legs and feet while appearing normal on the surface but were in fact happily "interacting" with each other under the table. Playful it was, but damn it felt good. it felt so blissful. You were most probably feeling cold and you told me i felt warm =) then we just left our legs entangled under the table for the rest of the lesson. Right now i felt i shud have told you that i loved ur warmth too.... but i didnt... and i definitely didnt treasure those moments enough... i oni realised the importance of ur existance much later... I wonder if you can remember this incident or hav you flung this memory away? ( if u did then its ok, for i am ur memory =) ) did it mean anything to u? why? why did we do such a thing? May be all these aint important no more.... for those days are gone....now... i struggle to even hold a proper fulfilling conversation with you....

As i continued sitting in that room, i tried my best to focus on the stuff i was suppose to do, but i just couldnt help looking dreamily at the place where we sat with our legs entangled almost as one, sharing our body heat to keep warm ( or rather you were leechign my body heat ahah =) ) and later rather hesitantly untangled our legs as the lesson ended.........................

Its funny how i can seem normal and chat normally with you as if nth happened but when i stop or im not chatting with you my mood swings i get irritated.... am i that good a professional actor that i can act despite my inner emotions? Or is the saying "In the presence of the one you love, you are blind and deaf and you completely forget about stuff" so true?

We always start our conversation awkwardly, then id have a mood swing and give shit to you, then our conversation ends abruptly, then later id regret giving you shit and resume the conversation with you, we will then chat normally and happily like we used to, except that this time im constantly reminding myself that any "hopeful" remarks that u may give are just you being frenly and that we can chat normally cos we are FRIENDS. But I really hate it that sumtimes we are talkin abt our school work.... it sucks and i hate it cause it means we had nth to talk abt and i had to resort to such a lame and stupid topic.... and sch work makes me even unhappier than i alrdy am....

Well, i do hope you're happy that we are talking and seem like how we used to be.....But im pretty sure you noe things arent normal and fine......WAIT.... why the fuck am i "talking" to you here... you dun even know the address of this blog......-_-"

Secretly, I'm still hoping.....hoping that you and i can be together, hoping that i can keep you warm, hoping that i can become the person u think of and depend on when ur down, hoping that your reasons for saying "dunno" were positive reasons....I'm still hoping......For i still see us together happily, the three of us, in my dreams and when im not in my negative moods.....I'm still hoping....Because all success started out as a dream.....I'm still hoping.......

But, of course i noe life may not turn out like a fairytale and the dramas u love to watch.... Even so.... i may turn out to be that guy in the drama, the one that likes you but you nv liked.....the one u only regard as a friend as you non-chalantly walk away hand in hand with another guy...But its ok as long as you turn back once in awhile, for I shall still be here.....( for the time being, haha you noe i wun b so stupid as to wait tt long haha i hope so too haha)

Good night =)